In bed, do you have regular sex

Mark wiens


I once had a 31-year-old male client come to my counseling office in panic and ask, "Teacher, I have sex with my wife three or four times a week for a long time. Am I addicted to sex?" I listened to laugh and cry, after several answers to reassure him.

It seems that nowadays people like to magnify their little faults, and some men wonder if they have an excess sex drive and need to seek medical attention, even if they take care of their physical problems too often.

Tiger Woods, the world's No. 1 golfer, has openly admitted to being a sex addict, dating hot women who can't satisfy his crazy desires. Sex addiction, he said, made him disregard normal life, the law and morality, constantly searching for sexual partners, and almost unable to control himself. Eventually, he had to seek treatment for his addiction, and it was painful.

In fact, the causes of sex addiction are both physical and psychological.

It has been found that the androgen of sex addiction patients is 1 ~ 2 times higher than that of ordinary people, so it is medically diagnosed as a sexual disorder. At the same time, psychological factors are also important factors of sex addiction, such as the temptation of pornographic products, poor demonstration of elders, and abuse in the process of growing up will make people easy to form psychological dependence on sex. When Tiger Woods was a kid, his father used to cheat around. After becoming a superstar, Tiger Woods' indulgence was exacerbated by the easy availability of affairs. More than half of his dozen mistresses were women in their 40s, and his enjoyment of cheating with mature women may have contributed to his addiction to sex.

It's clear that Tiger Woods' unusual amount of food in bed has taken a serious toll on his body and mind. Sounds scary, but do people who have sex three or four times a week need to be scared?

Of course not. In fact, the medical definition of "sex addiction" is clear: when a person does not have sex, there will be withdrawal symptoms, such as excitement, insomnia, tears, runny nose, sweating, tremors, and even collapse, loss of consciousness. But in real life, very few people lose sleep, sweat, or even get anything done because they don't have sex, so the label "sex addiction" should not be simply placed on the sexually active person.

If you want to gauge if you're eating right, here's a formula for sexual frequency that's widely accepted in the medical community: Multiply your age by nine to get the number of days in the ten digits and the number in the ones digits. For example, a man in his 20s who calculates the number 18 would normally have sex eight times in 10 days, roughly once a day. For people in their 30s, the figure is 27, or about once every three days. Every five days for people in their 40s; For people in their 50s, once every eight days... That's the right amount of sex. The man at the beginning of the article, however, is only slightly above average, so there is no need to worry too much.

In fact, many of us lose the idea of regular sex as we reach middle age. Up and down the two generation of care, the burden of the car and house, the pressure of work are so that middle-aged couples have the heart to be powerless, even inadvertently powerless. Sadly, this oppressive atmosphere can make the more sexually active feel like an outlier and suppress their normal needs in order to conform with those around them.

In fact, the frequency of sex is the same as the amount of food. Most people get hungry three times a day and eat dinner when they are hungry. Some people get hungry faster than ordinary people, so he needs to eat more between the main meal; While some people eat too much, fast and fierce, although not slow, but others absorb well. Sexual desire, like appetite, is one of the most basic biological needs of human beings and cannot be measured by a uniform and exacting standard.

If you're not having sex as often as I mentioned, but you and your partner agree that it's not a problem after a heart-to-heart discussion and that it's not affecting your relationship, then there's no need to change. "Food" this problem, each other eat well on the line, do not have to force.

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